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You know what?

I don't like this kid.

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He's the bitter, bitter center of a whole heaping load of disappointment pie. That's what I felt when I read the "Mega Man Zero" manga. Disappointment.

And shame.

And "What the F*** is this CRAP?!"

But first, a bit of backstory.

For the uninitiated, Mega Man Zero is another installment in the famous Mega Man series, created by Capcom. 100 years after the events of Mega Man X, Zero is reawakened in a future where humanity is repressed by Neo Arcadia, a vast empire that spans the ruined earth. He joins the Resistance, a group dedicated to defeating Neo Arcadia, lead by a young woman named Ciel. His adventures span four games on the Game Boy Advance, where he battled Neo Arcadia at first, but then ultimately began fighting against the insane ambitions of Dr. Weil, who threatened the entire world. Overall, the Mega Man Zero series is even more serious than the preceding Mega Man X, and gamers were challenged by its difficult gameplay and influenced by its unfolding story.

None of which, remarkably, made it to the manga.

Since the only translated version of the manga was done by the good folks at Rockman Tanjou, I'll be naturally refering to that translation. Before we begin, I'd like to make clear that I've got nothing against the translators. They do some good work, and hell, it's totally within their rights to like this manga. But since I'm writing this article, I will continue to refer to the manga as a GFSPOC (godforsaken piece of crap). I'll also be using the script from the first Mega Man Zero game as reference for comparison.

The story begins with Fefnir being an ass, declaring how he'll wipe the rebels off the face of the earth after, well, wiping some rebels off the face of the earth. Okay, standard issue stuff so far. Fefnir likes killin', like in the normal series...so far, so good, right?

Turn to Page 9, where we meet three random kids. One kid, the short dude, is Lito. I learned to hate him very quickly. The two others will never be seen again after a few chapters. Perhaps that's a good thing, considering that Lito alone contributes to 50% of the assery committed in this manga.

So, Lito and his gang are pissing around in this random building, when they just HAPPEN to discover Zero.

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Lito swims through the nasty swamp water and immediately realizes it's "Rockman Zero, from a hundred years ago". First off, Zero looked, like, completely f***ing different a hundred years ago. Secondly, he was basically a crazy old wives' tale back in the MMZ games-Ciel directly says in the game that "Most of us think that Zero is nothing but a fantasy." How the hell does this random kid know who the guy is, despite differences in appearance and the remarkable lack of belief that Zero even actually EXISTED?

Spiky Haired Kid makes the ugliest One Piece style face you'll ever see on the bottom panel of Page 11.

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Oh, no, wait, I'm sorry, it does get uglier from there.

But uh oh, what's this? Zero has awakened! And, in a feat of remarkable acrobatics, he dives into the water to confront a bigass robotic snake on Page 14, and pulling out his little peashooter, gives him hell! Aw, yeah, Zero! Kick ass just like you always do!

...okay, he falls over on Page 15, but that's fine, heroes trip sometimes! Just-

Wait.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

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Boys and girls, meet the OTHER 50% of assery committed in the Mega Man Zero series. This is...I hesitate to call him Zero. This simpering coward doesn't deserve to be called that.

I'll call him Negative Three.

-3 is the form Zero spends most of his time in during this manga. In this form, he has explosive amnesia, and the amazing powers of over-reaction and the ability to BE SCARED OF F***ING EVERYTHING.

I'M NOT LYING, KIDS.

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-3 demonstrates his incredible over-reaction power by making a face that especially tops Spiky Haired Kid's last expression, and screams like a little girl while throwing out a frog that happened to crawl into his clothes. I don't exaggerate when I say that -3 has one of these freak-out sessions practically EVERY F***ING MINUTE throughout the ENTIRE manga.

So the kids take -3 home so Lito's ridiculously big-foreheaded grandpa can take a look at him and wonder what the f*** went wrong with this manga like I did. (Oh, and -3 has another freak-out, that's 2 and counting.) Lito tells Grandpa that they went into the Forbidden Building of Sexual Predator Doom, and Grandpa counters with his own ridiculous over-reaction. He starts talking about the X series, and how even that's better than this manga, and how the artist f***ed up on his drawing of Sigma.

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The plot deviates here again-originally, Neo Arcadia just wanted to kill off who they thought were Mavericks. Here, they just want to waste Reploids period, because humans won the war fought in the X series.

Wait, how could they win the war? They didn't do S*** in the X series!

Soon, Fefnir comes in, because he's a Nazi and he's looking for Anne Frank-er, he's looking for Reploids in the house. You know, it suddenly occurs to me that if Neo Arcadia wants to off Reploids, why are they giving Fefnir free reign? For that matter, why do the Guardians even EXIST in this manga if the humans are supposedly in control and want to destroy all Reploids? It's another poorly executed plot device that, in reality, just exists to set up the main dynamic of the Zero manga, which we'll get into in a minute.

Grandpa stalls by being old, and Fefnir hilariously wails him in the face.

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WHAM, b****!

In fact, let's see that again!

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Man, that feels good to watch.

Anyway, Fefnir gets the kids. -3 is hiding behind a wall, crying like a sissy because Lito and his random friends are in danger. Fefnir gets ready to perform child abuse on Lito, and the little guy screams for Mega Man Zero to make a much-needed return.

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-3 taps into his ultimate power and goes Super Saiyan.

That's...that's pretty much what happens here.

And once more, with the incredible crotch angle, Zero is back in town.

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This is the main dynamic of the Zero series, and it happens throughout the manga. Lito, by doing nothing else important but put his life in danger, causes -3 to go Super Saiyan, become Zero, and kick ass. My question is why. Why did they need to include this element? What do you do differently by having Zero act like Shinji most of the time, but then get TOTALLY SERIOUS when this forgettable brat's in danger? I honestly can't see a reason, and I honestly don't see why they bothered to replace Ciel with Lito anyway. She could've easily served the same purpose as Lito but with much more respect to the MMZ games. Instead, the Ciel you'll see later tries to be a incredible badass but miraculously fails. Just like this manga.

Zero cuts the crap immediately-he tells Fefnir to STFU and tells him straight up that they're f***ing dead. Fefnir retaliates with expendable soldiers, which Zero blasts the crap out of. Fefnir then reveals the big Golem robot he packed for such an occasion. Peashooter doesn't work against it (and Fefnir pretty much tells you that loudly) so Zero figures he's got to do it another way, and he produces the Z-Saber.

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Did I mention this manga completely ignores X's influence on the entire overlapping story that began in the X series and continues on to ZX as of this writing? It does. X never shows up as a Cyber Elf, never gives Zero his killstick back (though how a Cyber Elf can carry the Z-Saber anyway, I dunno), and pretty much, no one bothers to mention him at all. This ALSO means that Copy X is completely f***ed up. You'll see, boys and girls. You'll see.

Zero carves through the Golem like a blind man chops off a slice of cheese, and Fefnir is visibly stunned by this remarkable display of pwnage. Fefnir totally tries to act like he was gonna run away anyway, but inside, he's crying, the big softie. Lito tackles Zero like a linebacker, which unfortunately prompts Zero to go away and do more interesting things while -3 steals the show. And in a bad way. -3 doesn't believe he did anything cool (and technically, he didn't) and Grandpa feels the same way.

And that's it for Chapter One, boys and girls. You won't see Spiky Haired Kid or Corpulent Lad or Grandpa ever again, and the manga will quickly turn into an obsessive ZeroxLito shipping fest, complete with pastiches of once refined characters and a plot that makes purists cry dirty, dirty tears. It only gets worse from here, boys and girls. Fun times ahead.

Until next time...kick your elders.

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You had way too much fun writing this review, THD. Way too much fun.


"Why do you care that I care that you care enough to care that I care for caring?" "Conversation isn't your strong point, is it?"
"I worship the supreme comrade Cossack!"
"OugharagarraaahhHHH: When 'Ow' just won't cut it."
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I found it entertaining. Very entertaining. However, despite all the hate, I want to read it myself, just to get a better look at this -3.


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Originally posted by RisingDragon
You had way too much fun writing this review, THD. Way too much fun.


I know. :3

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Actually, one of the things that makes the MMZ manga so horrible is that just about all of the Mega Man mangas are decent, and then there's this.

To me it seems like that whenever someone makes a manga based off a game, they feel the need to put in unneeded humor, which suckifies the manga.

... as THD has pointed out numerous times in the MMZ manga. >_>


"Why do you care that I care that you care enough to care that I care for caring?" "Conversation isn't your strong point, is it?"
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"OugharagarraaahhHHH: When 'Ow' just won't cut it."
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I've read the MMZ manga before, and I must say, it was indeed awful. The only reason I kept reading past the first chapter was because I wanted to see Lito to fall off a cliff... no, to fall off a cliff into a pit filled with flaming spikes and poisonous reploid spiders, and for -3 to be get a course in manliness, or to jump right after Lito.

The LoZ mangas and other MM mangas I've read weren't half as bad as this one. Not even one eighth as bad.


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....I actually like this, for some odd reason.

It's probably for the hilarity of Zero being a big whiner. For one hundred years he kept all those emotions pent up and now they're just FLYING out.

I always knew he had some kind of mental disorder.

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Originally posted by Zuppahiko
All manga adaptions from videogames probably suck as much, unfortunately. From my point of view, I read Ocarina of Time manga and jeez, that was the last time I ever touched a comic book from the land of Japan. They added bunch of unneeded crap that wasn't present in the videogame itself. Like that Volvagia backstory and Shadow Link at Kakariko Village, it's as bad movies made out of videogames, except least the comics have some basic elements from videogames in them, like the story. Besides, I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I read that comic when I had already played the damn game, guess curiosity is a strange thing. Fortunately, I didn't pay a dime to read it and if I had, I would've wanted that dime back.


Well, even though some people don't like the constant whoring of Hitoshi Ariga's work, Rockman Megamix is still a good adaptation of Mega Man Classic that addresses some issues with the game more logically. For example, Wily's, like, a bum and just readapting his old surviving robot masters into the new ones instead of miraculously getting a new nifty keen super death fortress and having enough parts to make eight brand spanking new robot masters. Also, fleshing out a manga with different storylines isn't terribly bad, either. Often, you have to do those for games that usually have a sparse plot (again, Rockman Megamix), but it's also done when people who played the game know the plot, do they REALLY need to see it all again on paper?

You probably just had a bad experience. Good video game mangas exist. The Mega Man NT Warrior manga, for example, isn't the greatest thing around, but it reasonably stays within the context of the original series and doesn't repeat all the same storyline from the original games. The reason the Mega Man Zero manga is so horrible is that it basically throws everything to the wind and adapts a completely different game that only existed in the mind of the creator, basically turning the entire concept of the Mega Man Zero series on its ear. Characters got severe personality changes as we see here, crap was probably added by having manatees pick idea balls out of a tank, and overall, basically f***ing it up. Good video game mangas exist...just not this one.

And Hollow, I'll admit, -3's big ol' freak-out expression kinda made me chuckle, if not in shame.

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I have tried, and been somewhat successful, to convince myself that this travesty of a manga does not exist.

It isn't the deviation from the plot, the changing of the characters, or the overall sucky artwork (Zero looks like a GIRL!) that makes it so horrible, either. It's the utter and total nonsense, that makes the plot not WORK.

To add to your comments about Zero's introduction, HD, here's this to chew on. If Zero had been missing for a hundred years, how is it that three snot-nosed kids wandering around in a completely unguarded, and honestly not-too-dangerous place just happened to stumble across him when no one else ever did? What happened? "We lost Zero!" "I don't feel like looking for him." "Shouldn't we check in that building?" "Naw, I don't feel like it." And so goes the tale of Zero being lost for a century. Nice.

On top of that, why did Zero wake up? I mean... he was deactivated. The kids didn't touch him. And magically.. "What? Someone saw me?" *AWAKE!* ...Huh?

As stated, the manga is always introducing annoying and unnecessary characters that disappear off the face of the planet three pages later, not to mention Neo Arcadia is complete and utter nonsense. Have you noticed their willingness to kill humans, as well as Reploids? So, wait, what's their purpose again? To kill everything in sight? Okay! ...Huh?

That was my reaction to the whole three chapters I read before the bile rose in my stomach and I was forced to turn my head away in disgust. "Huh?" I've seen fancomics with more luster. And honestly, that's all this is; a fancomic. It wasn't written by anyone who had anything to do with the game's creation, and honestly, I do wish the creators would be a bit more picky as to who has the right to use that title.

Now excuse me while I go attempt to get the image of Zero's overly feminine manga face out of my head.

-Ri

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Hey there, true believers. THD's back with another installment of "Why The Mega Man Zero Manga Sucks", one man's fiery crusade to get extra attention. The wonder continues as we delve into Chapter Two of the incredibly bad "Mega Man Zero" manga, and from this point on, the gloves are off, heroes.

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Chapter Two is special because when you look at the title page for it, you think you're going to be reading Mad Max from the way Zero and Lito look in the distance, their cloaks tattering in the wind as they stand behind ruins. Of course, the effect is completely lost on Lito, but hey, we're not assuming this is a GOOD manga, are we?

The title for this chapter is "Fight! A Warrior That Evolves", and I can only hope it involves -3 evolving into a real man. Sadly, this is not the case.

The chapter begins with Zero locked in combat with a random encounter, fighting various robots that I can only assume Neo Arcadia sent after them. Then again, if it is a random encounter, pretty much everything in the wild attacks you for no reason. Zero survives the encounter after a massive charged shot, gaining 138 experience points and a random fire ring, and promptly turns his gun on Lito, wearing that cloak that totally clashes with his height.

Alas, he doesn't shoot, because Lito promptly explains why they're in a random desert-they're on a mission to recover Zero's lost memories, and the only way they can find them is wandering around like Caine from "Kung Fu". I really can't see how they could "find" Zero's memories. You can't "find" memories, and unless the final boss has a bunch of Zero's RAM, I assume Zero has to recover them like normal girly-boys do. Maybe some random trigger will snap Zero's memories back into action. Maybe if they met X-

Oh, wait, I forgot. He's NOT IN THIS MANGA. The only reasonable link to Zero's memories isn't even involved in this storyline at all, so how the hell can they trigger Zero's memories? If people DO supposedly believe in him in the Bizzaro World that is this manga, Lito might as well just go to Wikipedia or something and look him up.

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Zero, being a guy with more interesting things to do, has long left during this tirade, allowing -3 to regale us with our precense.

...now that I think about it, when did -3 start wearing the metal underwear?

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-3 is shocked that he has the potential to be a killing machine, and has a freakout when he sees a random robot head that he tore off some poor expendable soldier (that's three freakouts so far, and yes, I'm keeping count). That's quickly forgotten when Lito and Zero stumble into a town and decide to grab a bite to eat.

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What the hell kind of lame meal is that? Hell, if Lito's Big-Forehead Grandpa had nothing to do all day but sit down, make over-exaggerated expressions and get nailed in the face, you'd think he'd bother to give Lito enough money for some decent food on this magically ridiculous journey. -3, being a robot, does not appreciate such fine cuisine, and is scolded by Lito.

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I wonder who wears the pants in this relationship?

-3 tells Lito that, being a robot, he doesn't eat food, and that you're a moron for thinking that. But wait, what's this? A sudden transition reveals a supposedly cloaked Reploid being pursued by a bunch of vicious robo-dogs, and the claxons ring for everyone to take refuge. Now, if they can somehow detect a random Reploid wandering through the streets of this town, how in the hell did -3 get away with waltzing into a public resturant without someone figuring out he's a Reploid by the stupid way he dresses? I mean, you would think that some sort of detection method would be used in a paranoid, Reploid-hating world such as this, like, I dunno, everyone has to go through a metal detector or something. "Oop, you're a Reploid, I knew it-oh, wait, that's your keys."

Oh, and did I mention -3 and Lito had to sleep in an alleyway?

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An alleyway.

You sure are a stingy bastard, Big-Forehead Grandpa.

Lito tells -3 to rock and roll, and mentions that Rockman Zero can save the day, since -3 is obviously not gonna cut it here. Meanwhile, Mysterious Reploid produces an AK-47 or something and blows the hell out of some robo-dogs, but before the surviving one can chew his face out, Rockman Zero enters the scene!

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Oh, wait, never mind, he's not here yet. Carry on.

Mysterious Reploid blows the hell out of the last robo-dog, ceasing -3's need to scream like a little girl (that's four, four freakouts! Ah ah ah!), then thanks Lito and -3 for saving him. That's funny, I didn't realize saving someone means "ridiculous distractionary maneuver" around these parts. Revealing his cool, post-apocalyptic hairstyle, Mysterious Reploid explains that the Resistance Base in the west got smashed because Neo Arcadia was looking for some Jews-ah, Reploids, and he needs to get to Resistance Base East, where he'll be among his fellow Avengers and their sexy, sexy leader, Ciel.

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Awwwwwwwwww yeah.

The fuzz catches up with the group at this point, and the group promptly holds down L1 and R1 to get the hell out of Dodge. I'm not sure if I should count the freakout in this panel, because it's so tiny, but since I'm a completist, that's five freaky Friday freakouts. Lito just up and demands -3 to become Rockman Zero, and -3 tries to explain that he's got a headache that night, and Lito tells him he's useless.

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Damn, Lito. I think you must've inherited some abusive genes from Big-Forehead Grandpa or something, because you've been treating Zero like crap throughout this whole chapter.

But then some ninja star gores Mysterious Reploid to avoid social commentary on this Freudian relationship and get back to the real matter at hand.

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I love how Lito asks Mysterious Reploid if he's okay when it's very clear that he's not. The exchange should be like:

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Of course, more fun could be had with that.

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Or:

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Enough vague allusions to pop culture, here's Phantom!

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With the arrival of the level two boss, Lito demands -3 to turn into Rockman Zero or he's going to get beaten again. But what's this? -3's unconcious? Despite Lito's valiant, abusive efforts, -3 won't wake up!

IS HE DEAD?!

...no. He's just out of energy, Mysterious Reploid Who's Still Not Dead Yet explains. He holds out the largest known quantity of LSD or crystal meth or WHATEVER reploids smoke in the year 22XX to let the good times roll, and insists that -3 take it for that get-up-and-go feeling. Phantom wants some of that, though, so he appears hanging above the heroes, and Mysterious Reploid pulls a gun, telling him to get his own. Phantom decides to kill the messenger in the coolest panel so far, and for this manga, that's very generous.

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Also remember that in the future, when Reploids get their throats slit, they blow up.

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Phantom attempts to knife up Lito, but Zero leaps away with the little guy, and prepares to fight this Naruto knockoff.

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"Hey, you, let's fight."
"Them's FIGHTIN' WORDS!"

The battle is fierce, and flashy, and with several sections of bad art. Zero attempts to shoot Phantom but Phantom pulls a Shadow Clone Jutsu and proceeds to kick ass Naruto style.

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What, did you think I was KIDDING?

Zero knocks them away except for one that stabs him, and makes a ridiculously obvious statement.

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DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, YA THINK?!

Phantom begins to throw more kunai than Dio Brando has knives, but Zero, always one to display a new trick in each chapter, counters with the Shield Boomerang, which for the most part works like it does in the games, except that Cerveau isn't here to give Zero this ability. (He does show up later, mind you...I'm just not sure what he does, exactly.) Phantom dodges a la Shadow Clone Jutsu, and then makes this unintentionally hilarious face:

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I mean, what the hell is that? Is it the proportions, the mouth, or both? He kinda looks like some crazy laughing bird guy-well, you know what? A crazy laughing bird guy actually does show up later, I'll just chalk this one up to artistic misfire. Cocky Phantom dives in to finish Zero off...

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...and, not surprisingly, forgets to take the "Boomerang" part of Shield Boomerang into account. Lito thanks Zero for saving him...

And Zero basically tells Lito to piss off.

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You go, girlfriend.

Lito takes this in remarkable stride, however, despite the shoe being on the other foot when Zero comes to play. I swear, SOME guy could have a field day with all the psychological connotations present in the Zero/Lito relationship.

Or, I dunno. Sell this story to Lifetime or something.

Too much Naruto crap and not-enough-badass crap limit Phantom's potential awesomeness. In addition, there's a noticable dip in art quality when you get to the fight scene. Also, this manga still sucks.

Until next time...will the real Phantom please stand up?

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Edited by The Helldragon on April 13, 2007 at 17:52:11.

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OMG, THEY KILLED EDGEWORTH-GODOT!!!!

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Wait, how is this guy like Edgeworth?

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The Lawl gives this two thumbs up. LAWL! But yes, I must agree with you about Ceil. And I doubt -3 would attract her. I doubt Ciel is a lesbian.

Anyway, I kinda think this one would have been medicore compared to the first chapter, and that's a good thing. But Birdman and his explosive powers that involve throats is lame.


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Rioni Riishu
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So wait, Reploids blow up when they get there throats slit, but not when they're cut in half? Hmmm...

You know, Phantom looks like a retard in ALL the panels... Crazy laughing birdman indeed.

-Ri

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Wait, how is this guy like Edgeworth?


His hairstyle is almost the same, yeah.

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The way in which Phantom dies is so à la Freeza, just that it wasn't his own attack that finished him off.


Also, is Mysterious Reploid Guy actually sweating? o.O


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This is quite possibly THE best rundown of a manga ever.
I read all of the series and wanted more but only because I like the MMZ series, but this does manga it no justice.

IMO Ciel is by far the best part of this manga...but you'll get to that.

Edited by BassGospel on April 16, 2007 at 20:44:45.


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Quote:
First off, Zero looked, like, completely f***ing different a hundred years ago...


Just to nitpick, no he didn't. Not according to plot at least. It was just an art style change. Plotwise he looks as he did in the X series.

That is all.

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Yeah, because we all believe the horse-pucky that Capcom tries to feed us.


"Why do you care that I care that you care enough to care that I care for caring?" "Conversation isn't your strong point, is it?"
"I worship the supreme comrade Cossack!"
"OugharagarraaahhHHH: When 'Ow' just won't cut it."
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CAPCOM: We put the "No" in Innovation.

Mega X.exe
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How is that horse-pucky? Frankly, that seems like the most sensible explanation possible, that it was a change in the style of the art.

Rioni Riishu
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I'm with Mega X all the way on this one. It was an artstyle change. For that matter, Capcom still decides what's canon, even if we don't like it. Heck, they may change their minds on stuff too much, but it's still up to them. If we're just gonna start making up our own canon, I guess you can say anything you want. x.x

-Ri

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If you wanted to really get technical, Zero didn't even exist as an IDEA 100 years ago.


"Why do you care that I care that you care enough to care that I care for caring?" "Conversation isn't your strong point, is it?"
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CAPCOM: We put the "No" in Innovation.

Mega X.exe
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Quote:
Originally posted by RisingDragon
If you wanted to really get technical, Zero didn't even exist as an IDEA 100 years ago.


All right, not sure how that's relevant but y'know, whatever.

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One thing that always irked me about the Zero series is the whole sudden design change that Zero and X got. First they were these big, bulky robots, and suddenly, they become way slimmer and less complicated before Zero is sealed. Capcom really needs to fill these plotholes.

HollowTorment
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...again, it was just an art style change. Since Omega or whatever his name is just looks like a recolored Rockman Zero yet is "Zero's old body" or..what have you, obviously it's just a different interpretation of what they looked like.

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He was referring to the slimming-down of X, Zero, and Axl's bodies that were seen in Mega Man X8.


"Why do you care that I care that you care enough to care that I care for caring?" "Conversation isn't your strong point, is it?"
"I worship the supreme comrade Cossack!"
"OugharagarraaahhHHH: When 'Ow' just won't cut it."
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CAPCOM: We put the "No" in Innovation.

HighMaxOmega
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mega X.exe
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First off, Zero looked, like, completely f***ing different a hundred years ago...


Just to nitpick, no he didn't. Not according to plot at least. It was just an art style change. Plotwise he looks as he did in the X series.

That is all.


Did I not already make the point (last year) that the X seen in front of the Mother Elf case is, in fact, the original-style X? Yeah, the art may have changed, but something else with it maybe...


Mach Jentra: I heard you were dead.
Zero: You know me - never say 'die.'

Mega X.exe
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No, I don't believe you made the point.

Rioni Riishu
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We may as well stop beating a dead horse, Mega X. They're not going to listen. ><

-Ri