I liked it its a cool start.

Alright, here\'s a few minor little critiques I have on the fanfic. Mostly just typing errors and the like. RIDE THE BIG BUCKIN\' CHICKEN!

In Chapter 1:

-\"Undenyly\" is written in one of the early paragraphs, and should proabably be changed to \"undenyingly.\"
- A comma should go after \"sure he seemed suspicous\" in one of Zero\'s pieces of the conversation on Axl.
-Also in that paragraph, the sentence \"I feel this force about him, that same force I feel that I could tell good people from evil...\" should probably have something like \"allows me to tell\" instead of \"I could\"

In Chapter 2:

-In \"Was his writings boring?\" \"Was\" should be \"Were.\"
-I think the plural for hypothesis is different. I can\'t remember for sure though. Something like hypothesi.
-\"Axl did not seem to be in much hurry or heard X’s cries,\" seems like it should be something like, \"Axl did not seem to be in much hurry, nor did he seem to hear X\'s cries.\"
-In that same paragraph, you should insert a \"he\" between \"that\" and \"looked\' in the third sentence.
-Yet again in that paragraph ( ^_^; ), you should add an \"a\" into \"He had surprised and doubtful face.\"
-In the next sentence, \"opened\" should be \"open.\"
-\"After\" should be taken out or rearranged at the end of that same sentence.
-\"X was practicly all up in Axl\'s face\" sounds a little funny. It\'s not incorrect or anything.
-Does the gem remain after removing the helmet? 0_o
-\"just run for it\" should be \"just ran for it\" in that one sentence where Axl tries to explain helping up that girl.
-In \"But to Axl, this avoidious behavior did not give Axl any reason to think X was feeling any hostility towards him,\" the second \"Axl\" should be replaced with \"him.\"
-Is avoidious a word? I\'d never heard it before. If it is, nevermind.
-In that same paragraph, either takeout \"and\" from between \"world\" and \"blocking\" and add a comma.
-\"out from this basement\" should be \"out of this basement.\"
-\"I had enough\" should be \"I\'ve had enough\" in the next sentence.
-\"The railings of the second level nearly diametered the whole main room were made out of wood,\" should have an and after \"room.\"
-In \"It was both just luck and knowledge or luck and stupidity,\" \"both\" should be \"either.\" You could also then change \"just\" to \"both,\" if you wanted to keep the \"both\" in there.
-In the next paragraph, \"to keep\" should be \"kept.\"
-In the same paragraph, \"afraid of\" should be \"afraid that.\"
-In the same paragraph,\"Who knows how far down the darkness went,\" should end with a question mark.
-Two paragraphs down, \"Usually every floor they passed,\" should be something like, \"Looking at almost every floor they passed,\"
-In the next sentence, add in a \"had\" after \"they\" and change \"went\" to \"gone.\"
-\"his method\" should be \"this method\" in the paragraph about Axl stopping the cage.
-\"go pick you up\" in Zero\'s dialogue over Link 87 should be \"come pick you up.\"
-Take out the second \"even\" in the next sentence.
-In the paragraph where X looks out at the city, insert \"in\" before \"as much disrepair.\"
-In the same paragraph, it should probably say \"once was a city full of life.\"
-In the next paragraph, change \"affirmed\" to \"affirm.\"
-\"Let go Axl\" should be \"Let\'s go Axl.\"
-\"recognized the scene\" should be \"recognize the scene.\"
-\"Is there stairs?\" should be \"Are there stairs?\"
-\"By now, X and Axl was\" should have \"were\" in place of \"was\" in the line with the spider approaching.
-Take \"It\" out of the beginning of the next sentence.
-\"Suppose, X should have not argued with Axl because the maverick was practically on top of them,\" needs revising.
-Change \"formable\" at the bottom of the next paragraph to \"formidable.\"
-Eliminate or replace one \"slowly\" in the next sentence to get rid of redundancy.
-\"nearly causing the floor to collapse\" in one of the paragraphs a few sentences down should have \"caused\" instead of \"causing.\"
-Take the \"was\" out of \"his grin was fading.\"
-Change \"a leg\" to \"its leg,\" since \"swung at him with a leg\" sounds a little awkward.
-Change \"since of\" in that paragraph to \"because of,\" in the sentence where X slips.
-Change \"meet\" at the end of the paragraph to \"met.\"
-Where you have \"X grunting under the stress of being a robot wedging device, he finally successfully tore off the leg from the body,\" put a comma after X and take out the \"he.\"
-\"adjusting\" should be \"adjusted\" in the sentence where the spider stabalizes itself.
-In the same paragraph, put a \"had\" between \"what he\" and \"done.\"
-Change \"a bit around\" in the next paragraph to \"around a bit.\"
-In the next paragraph, change \"when Axl\" to \"that Axl.\"
-Change \"feel the pressure\" to \"feeling of the pressure\" in the next paragraph.
-\"now back to going after Axl no doubt\" should be \"now going back after Axl, no doubt.\"
-Change \"I\'d admit\" to \"I\'ll admit.\"

And that\'s all of my corrections. Wow, I hate to ask, but why were there so many grammatical errors in the second chapter? I\'m afraid I can\'t do that for every chapter, and that was still ommitting corrections on comma placement.

The story is very good. I like how you portray Axl. The battle scene with the spider and the scene with the assembly for the initiation of Axl as a Maverick Hunter was also good. I lovved how you put in the random raccoon character for some \'X series authenticity.

Everyday is \'Ignore X Day.\':lol:

I hope you get around to reading all this sometime.:P It\'s great so far; I can\'t wait for the next chapter.

[Edited on 21-3-2006 by AimMan v2.5]