Attention, puny humans, I have an announcement to make. My kind have lived among you for centuries, but we have always hid ourselves, for we are creatures of solitude. We posses humans and through them, we studied your planet's culture. However, despite all of our research, we still have never openly interacted with humans. Until today. We have finally decided to speak with you humans through another of your kind, and this human was the nearest one to our hideout. We have decided that your constant abuse of power upon your own planet is unforgivable. Our kind existed in a vast number, until greed, selfishness, and war tore apart our civilization. We have decided to save you humans from the same fate that befell us. Here is our advice. End your wars, for in truth, wars are nothing but mere fights between children, only fought by adults. Work together. You humans constantly abuse your power and fight among yourselves. Why do humans hurt instead of help? That is their nature. That is the nature of all living beings with too much power. Instead of using a stick to hurt a man, use it to help him back up. We have also decided that you should correct your ways before you interfere with other worlds. What if your evil infects other beings? If you refuse to change your ways before you find life on other worlds, then you must be terminated. Our research is complete, and we shall return to our home world soon, but remember... Even when we are far away, out of your view, you must always remember...

Yllisos here...

Yes, it is a bummer, the human species is a neutral, yet confused species. Good cannot exist without evil, evil cannot exist without good.

The human species will always be at war with each other, either being country against country, or even civil. I agree that war is an ungrateful past time, chances say war will be around even 2000 years from now.

But, has it accured to you, the alien species, that if you were to expose yourselves to us. That perhaps your existance might stop bloody feuds for several centuries.

Besides, not all humans are hateful, why should the good people suffer from what bad people decide? Human kind has had the plagued idea in our minds since we started on this planet, if another terrestrial species has an answer, we could defenitely use the help.

Zanon out...

Termination? Heh, sounds like a challenge.

I say bring it. We'll take every punch and return just as well as we get every single time. 'Sides, I could use a good scrap.

Your first strike is your last mistake.

Our crop-dusters tend to take down alien warships. Ramming always works, after all.

First we try water. If these things are Signs level, then we've got nothing to worry about.

Next is the common cold. That or swine flu.

We should definitely hold off on using nukes, though. We wouldn't want the world to be flooded with giant tsunamis all over the place.

The weather has been getting a bit predictable lately...

I say we send all our 1-dollar hookers, porn stars and poor backwater country Africans at them. See if they are of the Species variety and susceptible to AIDS and such. Plus, we get rid of those people too! WIN-WIN!

...of course, I prolly put myself higher on the alien hit list by saying such things. Oh well.


EDIT: Wait... I just realized... the aliens contact us IN PURPLE. Obviously Juno is involved with them!

Edited by Morphman on October 20, 2009 at 10:40:15.

... Is this some kind of joke? Was it Bob from accounting? I think it was Bob, that guy's a jerk. Or did someone post under my name while I was logged in?

I swear to God, I think I remember making "Bob from accounting jokes" once upon an anciente tyme.

Oh wait... Never mind, it was my neighbor. In retrospect I really shouldn't have told him my password. He's being sent to the asylum as we speak. Or maybe that's me?

EDIT: Turns out I was just high and thought I was an alien. The psychiatrist says that last week, I thought I was a ninja.

Edited by ring man77 on October 21, 2009 at 2:42:24.

Am I the only one somewhat surprised and yet frightened with Ringman's sudden change in linguistic skills and attitude, which may have coincided with the removal of his avatar?

Has he been body-snatched?

Why is everyone yelling? I mean, this whole "alien" thing is probably just a hoax. Aliens coming from space to help humanity? That's silly.

You know who'd say something like that?

An alien. I'm just sayin'.

*Hiccup* Hey there, *hic*, Earthlings! We know we were *hic* all stressed out before, but we found this substance called, "beer", and we're chilli-*hic*-ng out! Yeah, We know, We're a *hic* bunch o' lightweights, but hey, this is our *hic* first time! Now, remember every*hic*one...



*throws up then vanishes*

What? Why am I at my computer? Oh well.

HAPPY NEW YEAR




Also, why am I drunk? No people are dead.

Edited by ring man77 on October 25, 2009 at 23:59:08.

They're. Drinking. Our. Beer?

That's it, I'm declaring war.

Hee hee, mister alien guy, try this...

I myself call it Viral Wine.

THE TOPIC IS A LIE!!!

Oh thank goodness, Ringman was just hiding his stupidity by copying someone else, who probably copied someone else too.

Cheers everyone!

You mean there won't be an alien takeover, DANG. I was looking forward on getting drunk with some of them.

Actually the poor Africans seem to me to be some of the most intelligent people in the world; they work and build their own sustaining economy, they don't fight wars and such as far as I know, they like to learn, aren't lazy or greedy, etc. (I mean if you're talking about people that live in Africa, which I assume you are.)



Edited by God on December 5, 2009 at 2:32:37.

Yeah there's no point to bringing logic, flawed or otherwise, into a thread designed for humor.

Indeed. If you're going to start logically tearing this thread apart, you're really going to have to start a lot earlier.

click on that link agon.

(yes I know agon but you know what I mean)

Hey Mister Alien Dude.

What about mariens? Are they a different species or what?

Mr. Alien Dood? Yes, I do have a question.

...what happens if we go Will Smith on your asses?

First off, I ment to say martiens.

Second, they are not that kind of alien.

Are you!?