It all depends on the person you\'re going out with. If it\'s a serious relationship, and that person makes you feel loved, then all things are okay. If it\'s just a relationship built on lies, strictness, pressure and fighting, then you\'re best to walk away.

I think MegaX\'s negative perspective on love isn\'t wrong, but on the same token it isn\'t right. If you\'re happy with someone, and their happy too, and that signs of love are present, it\'s a good relationship.

Perhaps MegaX has had some bad experiences...

Uhhh..I think the folks that don\'t like love or talk down about it, are either TOO freakin young for it yet, or just can\'t get anyone to love them back.

So yeah..if you\'re like, younger than 18, I really think you need to wait it out. And yeah yeah, physical age is different than mental age... But you have a higher chance of meeting someone that is mature enough to handle love, if you wait.

I\'m currently \'robbing the cradle\' so to speak..but it\'s funny, because I\'m more mentally immature than my significant other.

I like your thinking HT. I find a 16 year old such as myself can\'t possibly hope to expect someone that can handle or even understand the meaning of love at this age.

I think I can hold out from dating for a while.

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I found my ex was alot like that too. Though she was going out with me, she\'d still flirt with other guys and would want to hang out with them. I prohibited it, because I was really extremely uncomfortable with her hanging out with other guys and going to their places. Of course, that would be very controlling of me.

Well, I feel that if there\'s something wrong, and I can feel something stirring inside of me, and my feelings are reacting in a certain way, I must be right or something has got to give. I got really tired of bottling up my feelings and letting her walk all over me, so I stood my ground. And the result from her was \" No, you can\'t tell me what to do, I don\'t need your permission to do what I want, stop being so controlling, you don\'t care about my feelings, if you were any kind of a boyfriend you\'d let me do what\'s best for me blah, blah, blah...\"

More than bottling up my feelings, I couldn\'t stand her being so pushy and conceded to the point where I found her obnoxious.

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From what I\'ve seen, I don\'t think that girl thinks through what she says. Of course controlling someone is wrong and you should be able to trust one another in a relationship, but she also has to understand your reaction to this. She shoud know you would get uneasy due to her messing with other guys. If you allready explained what you have said here to her and that is her best awnser... well... you be the judge. Personally, I think cheating on someone is reason enough to let them go. I mean, 2 others while you were separated? I really think you should take a moment and deside if it\'s actually worth it.

On a side note, I don\'t know this person, you know her best.

So what if it was jealousy? I mean, if someone is going to go out with me, they\'ll be with me and not someone else. I\'m not a sustitute boyfriend!

But...maybe I\'m rushing to conclusions...I mean, that may be the way I feel but the way she feels is that it\'s okay to go out with her friends, which the majority of them are guys. So, maybe she would never cheat on me, which is what I feared the most. You\'d be suprised just how flirtacious she is though...even when we were going out. Always hugging other guys, even if they weren\'t her friend. But inspite of that...maybe she wouldn\'t have gone any further than that. She was loyal to me.....

But that wasn\'t the only thing that bothered me about her, it was many other things as well. She was pushy, selfish, disrespectful, abusive and self indolgent.

I think some girls, and not all girls, like to get guys jealous, just so they can feel like they are being showered in attention.






Yeah...I guess it\'s not worth it. I won\'t be a sucker either, I like things done my way sometimes too. I won\'t go back to her and get hurt again. I found that when I was going out with her, she\'d always have to get her way and when I\'d want something, for once, she\'d turn it around and make it look like I\'m the one getting everything and she\'s the one not getting her way. It\'s really stupid. I can\'t beleive I put up with it for 7 months.

Thanks alot guys for your support. I really appreciate it.

DUDE! that sucks man. Im sorry you have to put up with this.

true thats asome girls fighiting behind you

The way I distinguish, is a few things..

I think of how I\'d feel if they left. And not just leave..I go all out and see how I feel if they\'d die. If you get an ache in your heart, and feel like you might cry or something from that..well, that\'s a start.

Do you like her personality? Do you even KNOW her personality? All of my crushes and what have you..I was friends with them first. I knew what they liked, disliked..I knew some secrets and just talked with them alot. It\'s best to know someone before you start going ga-ga over them.

Honestly, I don\'t think you know her well enough for it to be anything but physical attraction. Even one of the first things you mentioned, was that she was \'beautiful.\' So yeah.

Dr. love, aka me is here to help you....

I\'m thinking that this is just a physical kinda thing. who knows? I would think that if you just watch her alot and stuff (stalker?) im thinking, it cant just be for her mind. Think of it as if she was in a butt-ugly chicks body, would you still think about her so much?

I believe someone once said that the love of your life will be someone who you can be best friends with.(of the opposite sex hopfully) i dont know... by the sound of it you two dont seem to know each other all that great. But dont listen to me. what do i know. who am i to say what you should do with your relationships.....:conf: i dont like ruining stuff.

I dont know. now that i think of it i hate giving out Dr. Love(me)\'s advise.

But if you wanna know what i think... before you do anything, you know.... start getting any lovie-dovie thoughts in your head, think about asking her out, wonder what color underwear she\'s wearin\', actually hang-out with her and see if she\'s everything you\'ve lead yourself to believe for the past 18 months........ and thats all i have to say....



...................and well, maybe it is all right to wonder what color her panties are just a little bit...........

The sad part is that I wouldn\'t have the time to do that. But I just learned that she isn\'t leaving after all. Hooray!

Yes, I do find her beautiful, even though she isn\'t the most beautiful of the people I know

If you ask me, I find physical attraction to be very important. It\'s what draws most people by first sight. IMO, the people that say real beauty is on the inside, that\'s just something ugly people say. But who\'s to tell who\'s ugly?

Many people are attracted to different things about people.
Whether it be personality, looks, measurements, height, weight, whatever, this is what makes the dating life confusing.

If you\'ve found someone, who you feel is like a best friend, meaning you can talk to them about anything, say what\'s on your mind, feel security around that person, bond in ways you never thought you would with anyone, and if this person makes you feel happy, you care about that person and you know they care back, then it\'s a definate \"Yes, I love this person and I wanna go out with them.\" And, you\'ll know when the time is right.

Mega X, do you consider yourself to be at least friends with this girl? If the fear of rejection is all that is holding you back to talk to this girl about going out, you need to break that little barrier. It can be done.

Think of it, the worst thing she can say is \'no\' if you do ask her out. And if you are close friends at the time you ask her out, she won\'t think you\'re some weirdo, so really you\'ve got nothing to lose.

You\'re probably mostly afraid of what she might think of you or what she might say if she rejects you, correct? If she blows up in your face, or if she tries to make a fool out of you, by teasing you around groups of people, then you know what kind of person she is and you know that\'s not the kind of person you want to be with.

Maybe Bass SP\'s new name should be Dr. Love......:lol:

I\'m not that good.

I\'m just saying what I feel is to be expected in a relationship. And, judging from experience, I once had someone that I loved....but that\'s over now, you can read some of my more previous posts in this topic to see what I felt.

She\'s still dating the guy I told you about much earlier, the one she \'ran away with\'. Goes to show how much I really mean\'t to her, which is the reason why I don\'t have to care anymore. I don\'t settle for less. If I\'m gonna be with someone, we will be absolutly even. If you scratch my back, I\'ll scratch yours, get it? No one gets anymore \'scratchings\' then the other, which was probably what I was doing alot of with my first girlfriend. I was the one always left having to do things her way and I never got what I really wanted.

I don\'t beleive the bullshit about what certain people say like \"The girl is the \'boss\' in the relationship.\" One things for sure, if this girl was any kind of a girlfriend she would acknowledge the guy\'s feelings too. And yes, guys DO have feelings too. Girls aren\'t the only ones that can be sensitive, ya know?

I totally agree. I mean, you\'re not going to date someone who in your opinion is butt-ugly and on the same token you\'re not going to date someone who is a bitch/jerk/whatever.



That\'s normal. There\'s always going to be an akward anxiety in the beginning, especially if you don\'t know her that well. All you gotta do is talk to her more. I don\'t mean being a stalker and waiting for her and pop outta nowhere on her, just say \'hi\' and \'how\'s it going?\' whenever you see her in the hall. Make your way into the picture, slowly little by little. Whenever I see most of my friends in the hall, I\'ll usually do this little nodd thing with a bit of a smirk, give high fives(that\'s with my guy friends), but for the girls, it\'s usually hugging, which you\'re probably not so high on. And I\'ll let the girl come hug me, I won\'t hug her first. Whatever, that comes later. Also when the oppurtunity arises, and you two are together, not nessecarily alone, ask her questions about her, let her know you\'re interested in getting to know as much as you can from her. Girls dig guys that have a sensitive side. But don\'t blirt up a random question like \" What\'s your favorite color?\" or \" Do monkey\'s fly east for the winter?\". You have to start up a conversation, then that leads to other conversations to the point where you\'re talking about something completly different from what you started talking about. And if there are other people around her at the time, let them on the conversation too, don\'t hint to anyone that you\'re just focusing on talking to just the girl you like \'cause people will catch on pretty easily to what you\'re really thinking.



Dude, you need to start beleiving in yourself more. Don\'t focus on everything that\'s \'wrong\' with you but focus on the skills and positives about yourself. Be positive. That\'s the big issue. If you\'re positive, it also means you\'re confident. Gilrs love confidence. Just don\'t over do it.

You say you\'re good at Math, you\'re smart and you\'re in-shape. And I beleive that you are. I\'ll let you be the judge of anything else you like about yourself because I don\'t really know you that well. <_<



You feel different about this girl then any other? That means something. Don\'t let that feeling be bottled up inside of you, you cannot deny your feelings and you can\'t lie to yourself. You\'ve already admitted that you have feelings for her, which is good, very good. So, now all you need is to let those feelings come to her. Take it slowly, and eventually they\'ll reach her, just as long as you don\'t rush anything.



Don\'t let her friends push you around, if they do already. Because if you two started going out, they would think differently about you and they would be your friends too.



Heh, this is where it gets confusing. You consider yourself a nerd only because of the way you are, which there is nothing wrong with. If someone doesn\'t like you for who you are, well, f*ck \'em.

Who says these \'cool\' people are \'cool\' people? What makes them so \'cool\'? Their people just like everyone else, are they not? You can be cool too. Heck, we all could. But for the most of us, then we\'d be liked as someone that we\'re not as opposed to being hated for who you really are. You pick which is more important to you, and I think the answer is fairly clear.



How old is she, 13? I think that she is still pretty young for having boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. If she we\'re to date anyone, I doubt it would last long. And if she knows Mr. Nice Guy aka YOU, she\'ll be dying to have someone like that rather then some jocky jerk person.

Pick and chose Mega X, it is completly up to you what you want to do.

....

....

I\'m sorry, but if you, her, and your classmates are still dividing off into sections of \'cool\' people like jocks and preps, and \'uncool\' people like nerds and losers..you really need to mature more before there\'s any love involved.

And when you kids grow up, you\'ll realize that physical attraction has almost no effect at all on love.

You people dont realize how LUCKY you are to have variety at school. Let me explain:

Private Christian High Schoo l= \"Outcast Preps\"

Computer Geek+Outcast Preps = >_<

Theres about 2 other friends i have at school. There are no female geeks. Theres one girl who knows html, but shes not a geek. Heres a word of advice:

Find a girl with exact or similar interests, ask her out, start a relationship.

Trust me, this will work.

Gee, that reminds me of sonic and amy from sonic the hegde hog. how true you are.

Just ask her out. Never hurts to try. If she seems to like you, tell her how you feel.

Well.....now that that\'s taking an interlude, I guess I\'ll step in to fill this void. I\'m not the greatest with words, so bear with me.

this is the middle of summer for me, and I\'ll be going into high school next year. I\'ve spent a majority of my school life avoiding athletics and exercise(sp?) in general, getting the best grades possible, and occasionally showing a deeper side to me. I\'d show it more often, but deepness + 14 year old = mockery, embarassment, and occasional pain. I\'m not especially graceful, not athletic, not really anything special, exept my maturity, which I can\'t show.

At the beginning of last year, I met a girl who\'s just perfect in my eyes. she\'s a serious Christian, she\'s smart, she\'s funny, I\'ll think about her for hours at a time sometimes, and that\'s when she\'s not staring me in the face. I want so bad to impress her, to be confident around her, to just sweep her off her feet. but I don\'t know how to go about it. I feel like I\'ve been giving off mixed signals all year, and now I want to tell her how I feel, but if I start in as my classical-romantic self, I get the impression she\'d be more scared than happy. I don\'t really have enough time to ease into this, since I\'m going to another school soon. I want to tell her how I feel. How should I go about it?:conf:

Try talking to her for a while, then if you become good friends, ask her out. thats really all i can say,

If you\'re unsure of what would impress her, just think of what would impress you! It should soon become clear that your only option will be to crack open her dog\'s head and it\'s eat it\'s brains! Sure to work everytime!

I really wonder if anyone here shares my sense of humour..

Wow..if she\'s a serious Christian, she\'ll think that holding hands will lead her to do \"the work of the devil\". :lol:..

And Necro, I sure would be impressed if someone could eat a dog\'s brains.. They don\'t have the softest skulls in the world, would be hard to crack the buggers open.

Hollow, that\'s just a cheap shot. Unless you were kidding, that\'s the problem with Internet posts.

Anyways, only the deluded, fanatics who go on to start cults, or nuns, either one really, believes that.

Well, Necro, I certainly share your sense of humor.:lol: Sick and wrong it is, but still funny. But yeah, Hollow, that\'s why I mentioned her being a serious Christian: she\'s almost that serious about it, that she would think something like that. I won\'t say she is, though, she\'s not that serious. also, I don\'t think she has a dog; the closest thing I could get would be one of her hamsters. (I wonder how long she\'d go without noticing it?)

If you go through with that, be sure to tell us if there really IS a reason theyre called HAMsters. :muha:

To be honest, its misleading. They taste more like beef.

well, from what I\'ve read, cow brains, or any other kind of brain for that mattter, taste sort of like either chicken liver or gizards. other sites say they\'re kinda tasteless, like tofu. and since this girl just went on a 15 minute rant about how her mom treats her hamsters, I\'m not about to try it. On hers, anyways.:miam: Back on topic, any other advice? anyone else with love problems? anything?

[Edited on 6/20/04 by Serpentarius]