WASHINGTON, DC - The FCC announced yesterday that beginning March 1st 2006, real life will be aired with a 5-second delay. The controversial measure was championed by FCC chairman Pat Robertson as \"critical\" in the ongoing War on Indecency. He said that the delay would cause minimal inconvenience for consumers while allowing thorough oversight and censorship by FCC screeners to ensure the absense of anything deemed innappropriate. The measure \"is for your own protection\" he said, \"it\'s best not to question it.\"

Critics have said that the plan will be an invasion of privacy and that it would significantly impair peoples\' ability to preform essential tasks, such as driving. While the FCC has issued no official statement on the controversy, supporters of the measure say these claims are \"dumb\" and \"unpatriotic,\" adding \"Besides, if everyone is on a 5 second delay won\'t it be just like normal? Duh, stupid.\"

Pat Robertson was widely criticized in early 2005 for a proposal to mandate that a \"broadcast flag\" be placed on human memories so as to enable artists to collect royalties for memories and thoughts involving or loosely tied to, their work. That plan was shot down after the discovery that the term \"broadcast flag\" was a registered trademark of Coca Cola Corporation and the concept itself was patented by Microsoft.