1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.



Taken from: http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html


Of course, all of you may think of another rule which should be on a list like this one.

Edited by Morphman on May 25, 2006 at 16:08:55.

Edited by Morphman on May 25, 2006 at 17:50:51.

Listing the evil overlord's handbook, are we? :\

Rule # 26: know your resources, have others not know them.


Yes, Metty, ya got quite it right.

HOWEVER.

I made this topic so that others may come with good ideas that might go into "The Dummy's Guide To Becoming An Evil Overlord".

Rule # 27: listen to others. They might just have something interesting to say, like, something that might go into "The Dummy's Guide To Becoming An Evil Overlord".

A possible new rule, but may need some work.

Rule 28: Do not try to take over the world. 1. It is corny. 2. The amount of hassle of running a planet would be enormous. Instead, keep your own country or two. Make sure they are big. Don't have them on opposite sides of the planet, divide and conquer works too well. Make sure the ENTIRE of your domain is defended, don't ignore a mountain pass, river or sea bevause it is "impassible".

Just a thought.

Nice "quick, let me make this thread meaningful in some way so it won't get locked" edit.

Rule 29: Do not take your opponent lightly. Usen any mean neccessary, but keep them logical.

Rule 30: Have a fail-safe system if my enemies touch any of my equiptment, such as shocks or burns or the epuiptment will destroy it's self from the inside. No one shall mess with your toothbrush ever again!

Rule 31: Be sure each hentchman isn't, blind, deaf, paralized, elderly, or mentaly challenged.

Rule 32: Always check for history of education. No one with less than a high school deployma.

Rule 33: Make sure all acquaintances and henchmen don't make useless topics on messageboards.

Rule 34: Even if you are supreme ruler, note that Necro is better than you, and rightfully give him your position.

Rule 35: Never disrespect Hollow, or half your brain cells will deteriorate.

Rule 36: Don't get in Sage's way. He has a nightstick, and believe me it hurts, no matter how high up on the chain of command you are.

Rule 37: You're overrated.

I SWEAR I saw a topic like this created by someone else. It had A LOT more listings though... you might want to check that up...

(Edited 30 seconds later...)
Ha! Found it! Check this out! http://www.interordi.com/mboard/topic.php?id_topic=8072#post128801

Edited by Mystic on May 25, 2006 at 15:55:05.

(Edited AGAIN!!!)
OMG... YOU PRETTY MUCH COPIED IT!!! THAT'S NOT GOOD MORPH...OOH, THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL!!!

Edited by Mystic on May 25, 2006 at 15:57:25.

You LOSE!

Good DAY, sir!

Rule 38: I will educate my black market thugs to keep them from being dumbasses.

Actually, I never saw that topic. x.x


Rule 1 of Becoming A Good Henchman: If you find flaws in any form of your High Superior Evil Overlord, instantly report it to him, instead of simply thinking: "Oh, we can do without that." and walking away.

Rule 39: Don't tell anyone but our most trusted hechmen our plan.

Rule 40: Shut up about our ideas to our worst enemy.

PFFT, I don't need that I already am, hense the name doc.man
moohahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by doc.mad on June 2, 2006 at 15:37:14.