I have a new story!
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Story
(Coco Adventure)
Coco & Nina was making a new adventure, this starts as a remix of the story.

Coco: *Look around wow this is a new adventure!

Nina: yeah, i know.

Coco: Where are we?

Nina: we're in the crystal cave.

Coco: wow! look at all the crystal!

Edited by Coco on June 6, 2006 at 9:41:36.

I hope it is a good story.

It is!
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Nina: Look at all the crystal.

Coco: i love it!

Nina: Lets take them.

Coco: Okay!

Wow! this story is good! What happens next?

I'll tell ya!
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(The Crystal cave)
The cave is filled with crystals, jewel, and diamonds, however, the cave is full of traps and hazards.
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Character:
(Coco Bandicoot)
Coco has grown mature and cheerful, she loves to go on adventure.

(Nina the Human Bionic)
She was mature as Coco and now she's getting strong with her steel-trap hands, She was mad at her own uncle because cortex won't let her on her adventure, cortex understand her frustrate and Nina had to become a good girl. She had her own style to get her steel-trap hands equip and ready to start the adventure.
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Chapter 2
(Going to the crystal cave)
*Coco & Nina exploring the cave*

Coco: Hey nina, do you think there someone is in there?

Nina: well... lets explore the cave!

Coco: Look, there's a door!

Nina: It look like its lock, but i'll smash it open! *Punch the door hard* *Smash*

Coco: Cool!

Nina: Come on, lets go!

*Coco & Nina entering the door*

*The place is filled with crystal stone*

Nina: This is gonna take all day long!

Coco: Lets look around!

Nina: Okay!

*Coco & Nina look around the cave*

Let me tell you that you've need much improvement. MUCH. You know what I did for my first try on a 'good' story? I stole a few cliche ideas and used them for that story. If you then start using your own style more and use less script-style things (you can still use scrip-style well enough for a basic idea for a story before you start working it out).

First off, don't write in Script-style for 'actual' stories. You need to be more creative. You need to explain the characters and their surrondings more.

Come on you guys, i am making my own story, can't you understand?

Okay, I'm going to be blunt. Why? Because you do not learn and you do not take advice.

As of yet, you display absolutely no talent for any sort of writing, and no original or interesting ideas. You've had all your other stories locked, and yet you don't learn and keep posting them. Script format is never a good way to write stories, and this is even bad for script. You manage to have as much improper grammar and bad spelling as you can possibly manage even in these short little meanderings of text. If you are actual trying hard to come up with this drabble, then I have to be honest and tell you that any form of literature of any kind is decidedly not your calling in life. I'm going to request this be locked because this is utterly useless except for a flame fest. If you ever want to write anything that anyone but your "brother" will ever care to read, then start taking advice- and maybe actually read a book to see how they're supposed to be written.

-Ri