So I figured as I gazed upon this, let us think of superpowers that would easily be deemed useless, weak or lame, and then find a way to make it useful, strong or awesome!
Example besides the above: the ability to control paper made awesome by making the sheets absurdly sharp and unleashing a storm of papercuts.
Topic: Useless superpowers? HA!
Because it just dun fit in Chit-Chat