The Most Complete List Of Ways To Annoy People, Cops, Your Roommate, And More.


I decided to post guides on how to do random stuff.First up!How to be annoying!


Annoy People


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1. Pay tolls with $100 bills

2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot

3. Eat produce at the market; don\'t buy it

4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two

5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April

6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons

7. Knock and ask \"How is it going?\" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.

8. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines

9. Announce when you\'re going to the bathroom

10. Chew other people\'s pencils

11. Invite lots of people to other people\'s parties.

12. Wear large hats during the movies

13. Touch strangers

14. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus

15. Bite your dentist\'s finger

16. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

18. Leave lipstick prints on people\'s cheeks and foreheads

19. Don\'t stand during hymns and anthems

20. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa

21. Tell people they have bad breath

22. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

23. Flirt with a friend\'s spouse

24. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team

25. Shake with your left hand

26. Use the quote bunnies after every other word you say when talking to someone.

27. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you \"like it that way\".

28. Drum on every available surface.

29. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

30. Specify that your drive-through order is \"to go\".

31. Honk and wave to strangers.

32. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter\'s Orange.

33. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

34. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

36. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

39. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

40. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

41. Reply to everything someone says with \"that\'s what YOU think.\"

Annoy Cops


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42. Say out loud when he/she approaches you \"You\'re not gonna check the trunk, are you?\"

43. Ask to see his gun.

44. When he\'s telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

45. Say out loud \"Hey, you must\'ve been doin\' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!\"

46. Slap his hand and say \"Bad cop! No donut!\"

47. When he frisks you, say \"You missed a spot\", and grin.

48. After every other sentence oink like a pig quietly to yourself but loud enough for him to hear you.

49. Refer to him by his first name.

50. When he comes up to the car, say \"License and registration, please\" right when he says it.

Annoy Your roomate


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51. Smoke weed. Do whatever comes naturally.

52. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.

53. Twitch a lot when you guys eat dinner.

54. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

55. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.

56. Ask him/her to do you a favor and get you a drink, then when they bring it, slowly pour it on the floor.

57. Clip your toenails while watching a movie or eating dinner.

58. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.

59. Speak in tongues.

60. Move you roommate\'s personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.

61. Walk and talk backwards.

62. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.

63. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, \"They\'re more than meets the eye.\"

64. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g.\"The Road Warrior,\" \"Repo Man,\" Casablanca,\") almost inaudibly.

65. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance at art class (or hit him/her with the wrench).

66. Collect all your urine in a small jug.

67. Chain yourself to your roommate\'s bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

68. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.

69. Ask your roommate if your family can move in \"just for a couple of weeks.\"

70. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them.

71. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.

72. Eat glass.

73. Smoke ballpoint pens.

74. Smile. All the time.

75. Collect dog shit in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.

76. Burn all your waste paper while eying your roommate suspiciously.

77. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can.
When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.

78. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate\'s desk. Include a list of grievances.

79. Paste snot on the windows in occult patterns.

80. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.

81. Dye all your underwear lime green.

82. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.

83. Bye three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.

84. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate\'s closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.

85. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate\'s parents (postage due).

86. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.

87. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.
Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.

88. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.

89. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.

90. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with \"Didja ever wonder why....\" Be creative.

91. Shave one eyebrow.

92. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter \"Gotta save space,\" twenty times while twitching violently.

93. Put horseradish in your shoes.

94. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

95. Always flush the toilet three times.

96. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.

97. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic\'s \"Pennsylvania Polka,\" and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it\'s an assignment for your primitive cultures class.

98. Give him/her an allowance.

99. Listen to radio static.

100. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.

101. Wear sunglasses at night. Bump into things often. Swear loudly.


Annoy your examiner during a Driver\'s Test


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102. Turn the radio on. When the testor goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.

103. Beep your horn at everything.

104. When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light

105. Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, \"now which one is the gas again?\"

106. After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and check the oil.

107. Fill your car with beer bottles.

108. The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs.

109. In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.

110. Swear at everybody on the road.

111. Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.



If you read the WHOLE thing....Give yourself a pat on the back.


[Edited on 29-10-2005 by MegaMan/Omega]

[Edited on 29-10-2005 by MegaMan/Omega]

NOTE: Interordi is cannot be held responsible for any actions taken actions against you, for seriously pissing people off. We are trained professionals, do not try this at home.

Some of these are just plain weird, \"shave one eyebrow\"?

Post redacted

Some of those were funny.

It\'ll be really awesome if you do this stuff to really big biker dudes!

If you want to end up in hospital, yes.

[Edited on 28/10/05 by Samsara]

Post redacted

Heheh, I like some of those cop ones. Mainly Slap his hand and say \"Bad cop! No donut!\" I should try some of those.....:devil:

55. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.

BlueSilver is gettin\' him some pets!

6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
7. Knock and ask \"How is it going?\" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.
11. Invite lots of people to other people\'s parties.
14. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
15. Bite your dentist\'s finger
38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
40. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
41. Reply to everything someone says with \"that\'s what YOU think.\"


^ I did all of those and more. Heh heh heh... *gets patted on the back* \"Good for you\" \"Shut up Vimmy.\"

EDIT: I repeat what BassGospel said: Interordi cannot be held responsible for this, and neither can it\'s members that don\'t participate with you in these things. We won\'t help you to get out of jail, too.

[Edited on 29-10-2005 by Morphman]

75 Fun Ways To Order A Pizza(How to annoy the pizza place employee)


1. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. When they repeat your order, say \"Again, with a little more OOMPH this time.\"

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, \"Remember, we never had this conversation.\"

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you\'re going with the lowest bidder.

7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica\'s \"Master of Puppets\" CD.

11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

12. Stutter on the letter \"p.\"

13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say \"crazy bread.\"

15. Change your accent every three seconds.

16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Say \"Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say \"Well, so is this! You\'ve got some explaining to do!\" See how they respond.

21. Tell the order taker you\'re depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Imitate the order taker\'s voice.

23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say \"Bed-Wetters\' Camp, right?\"

26. Put the accent on the last syllable of \"pepperoni.\" Use the long \"i\" sound.

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say \"OK. That\'ll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.\"

28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

29. Say it\'s your anniversary and you\'d appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

31. Ask to see a menu.

32. Have your pizza \"shaken, not stirred.\"

33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

34. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

35. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

36. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

37. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say \"Where was I? Who are you?\"

38. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

39. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

40. Order two toppings, then say, \"No, they\'ll start fighting.\"

41. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn\'t mean it.

42. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, \"I shall not be swayed by your sweet words.\"

43. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

44. Try to talk while drinking something.

45. Start the conversation with \"My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!\"

46. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

47. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

48. Be vague in your order.

49. Use CB lingo where applicable.

50. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

51. After ordering, say \"I wonder what THIS button on the phone does.\" Simulate a cutoff.

52. Start the conversation by reciting today\'s date and saying, \"This may be my last entry.\"

53. State your order and say that\'s as far as this relationship is going to get.

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Ask if they\'re familiar with the term \"spanking a pizza.\" Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

56. Say \"Kssssssssssssssht\" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

57. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

58. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

59. Put them on hold.

60. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

61. Mumble, \"There\'s a bomb under your seat.\" When asked to repeat that, say \"I said \'sauce smothered with meat\'.\"

62. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say \"No mushrooms, please.\" Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

63. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say \"You just don\'t get it, do you?\"

64. When you\'ve given the price, say \"Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math.\"

65. Haggle.

66. Order a one-inch pizza.

67. Order term life insurance.

68. When they say \"Will that be all?\", snicker and say \"We\'ll find out, won\'t we?\"

69. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

70. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

71. Dance all around the word \"pizza.\" Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say \"Please don\'t mention that word.\"

72. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell \"OW!\" when a bullet is fired.

73. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

74. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

75. Order a steamed pizza.



Again,pat your back if you got to read to here....you can if you want to...

76. After every sentence, say \"Because the Matrix tells me so.\"

77. Speak \'pizza\' as if it were a swear word.

78. Speak with a typical movie voice, preferably bad guy.

79. Act like they called you.

80. Act like your calling a sex line.

81. Each time after you mentioned some topping, say \"my preciousss...\"

82. Rap your order.

83. Sing your order.

84. Say: \"You\'ll die in seven days.\"\" very softly in the beginning of the conversation. If they ask you to repeat that, say \"Excuse me? I haven\'t said anything.\"

85. Act like there is one more person on the line and keep talking to him.

86. Act like you\'re (gonna be) killed halfway through the call.

87. Laugh as much as you can, as if someone keeps telling good jokes.

88. Act like you kidnapped the guys/womans mother/father/brother/sister/boy/girlfriend (preferably mother/father, everyone has those), and ask pizzas for ransom.


All of the above, I can\'t be held responsible for, best is to use a phone booth that is as much sound-proof as possible. Megaman/Omega, I just had to post these! Don\'t hit me! Put away that oversized axe! No! No! NOOOOO!! *horrible noises* *dies, probably, preferably*

[Edited on 30-10-2005 by Morphman]

Things to do with your AOL Disks.

At a restaurant, shove one under a wobbling table leg.

Christmas ornaments (the more the merrier).

Give them to young children play with.

Room dividers for hamsters.

Drink coasters.

Ice scraper.

Bathroom tile.

Air hockey puck.

Dog chew toy.

Pooper scooper.

Grill scraper.

Destroy them - smash, burn, or run over to relieve stress.

Light switch cover.

Chinese throwing stars.

Halloween treat.

Firewood.

Paper weights.

Incense burners (put stick in hole of disk hub and light the incense).

Put them on car windshields at the mall.

Hand them out as party favors.

House insulation.

Grind them up to make fake snow.

Hood ornament.

Give them as stocking stuffers.

Use them as elbow and knee pads.

Use them to decorate your aquarium and create Comp USA underwater.

Baby mobile. Fence (may need a few thousand).


Hey,I never said other members can\'t post a guide to do something!


[Edited on 30-10-2005 by MegaMan/Omega]

Post redacted

I\'m glad that someone agrees with these guides to do things.

NOTE:Some of these things might get you in jail.....if put in jail.......not my fault!

Using almost only AOL disks to make your Halloween outfit... Now that\'s original!

Ways to screw with teachers, tested by your one and only, Chris!

Put porno as the wallpaper on school computers.

The classic \"thumbtack\".

Stuffin\' processed cheese in their desks.

Screaming out \"Fat-Ass!\" at our VP, who\'s a real bastard.

Hiding a speaker under their chair, and use a microphone to amplify a \"fart\" effect.

TP-ing their cars.

I\'ll post more when I have the chance, as you can see, I\'m quite a.....riot. Mmmyes.

Post redacted

Thanks for making fun of his home, Wind!

Anyways, I just remembered the cherry bomb I put in the toilet, I swear, It chipped the seat!

I got somthin for that pizza one. When they ak your address or phone number say \"Mine.\"

*pats self on back* YAY! ^^

Lets see what are some other random things...

In the Movies

~ In a scary movie where someone is opening a door yell \"Don\'t go in there!\"

~ Flick candy and popcorn at random people.

~ Laugh at sad parts during a moive.

~ Leave your cell phone ringer on loud.

~ Ask the person next to you every minute what time it is.

~ Cough really loud during the movie.

~ Yell really loud \"I have to go to the bathroom, but I will be back\"

~ Spill popcorn on the person infront of you.

~ Get out your phone, talk really loud to your friend or order a pizza.

~ Go to a movie where you know every line and recite the whole thing.

~ Tell the people around you how you haven\'t changed your underwear in weeks.

~ Pretened to be asleep and snore really loud.

~ Sit where couples are making out and throw stuff at them.

~ Call your friends cell (that is in the same movie).

~ Bring a laser pen and point it at people and the movie.

~ Ask the person next to you about what is happeneing in another movie.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you fill out forms:

Name: Yes.

Phone: Yes.

Address: Yes.

Parents: I have two.

Country (if in the US then name a state): No city.

State: Confusion.

Sex: Yes, please.

[Edited on 30-10-2005 by Kagome_Sakura]

[quote]Originally posted by Kagome_Sakura


Sex: Yes, please.

[Edited on 30-10-2005 by Kagome_Sakura] [/quote] A friend of mine on another board that used to exist did that when he was applying for a job at Wendy\'s once the manager called him a perv and kicked him out.
Now then how to annoy co-workers:

1: anytime your neighbor is printing a proprietary document yell: The shared printer is on fire!

2: Eat nothing but Baked beans for breakfast (cubicles only)

3: play square dancing music really really LOUD

4. TP your bosses desk

5: Sneak into your rival co-workers office and change his screensaver to \"my boss is a F*****-up s*** head

6. usea magnifying glass to burn neighbor\'s toupees and hair (Window cubicles only)

7: Bring a small personal heater and place it hidden in your friend\'s office on high

8. Wear neon colored parachute pants and a Neon colored shirt with sequins glued on it on casual day

[Edited on 31-10-2005 by Black Dranzer.exe]

The guide to speak chinese.

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

directions: read these outloud


(English Phrase) I think you need a facelift

(Chinese Phrase) Chin Tu Fat



(English Phrase) Are you hiding a fugitive?

(Chinese Phrase) Hu Yu Hai Ding?



See me A.S.A.P.

Kum Hia Nao




Stupid Man

Dum Gai




Small Horse

Tai Ni Po Ni




Did you go to the beach?

Wai Yu So Tan?




I bumped into a coffee table

Ai Bang Mai Fakin Ni




It\'s very dark in here

Wai So Dim




This is a tow away zone

No Pah King




You are not very bright

Yu So Dum




I got this for free

Ai No Pei




I am not guilty!

Wai Hang Mi?




Please stay a while longer

Wai Go Nao?




They have arrived

Hai Dei Kum.




Stay out of sight

Lei Lo




He\'s cleaning his automobile

Wa Sing Ka.




Your body odor is offensive

Yu Stin Ki




I thought you were on a diet?

Wai Yu Mun Ching?


That\'s really great!

FAKIN SUPA!

that is really funny

Okay fun new way to order pizza:

(note: it has to be a place with a time guarantee) Order then call back every 2 minutes to change your order until time runs out.
Also try speaking poor english like you\'re spanish and if they say they can\'t understand you tell them they insulted your country and say you declare war on the pizza shop.

How to annoy teachers to their limits - part 1

1. After the first few minutes of class, start listening carefully. (I know it\'s quite different for most of you, but you should try it.) Then, after a while, start saying: \"Woah... Interesting! Amazing! I never knew that! Where did you learn that Mr./Miss/Mrs. [insert name]? Book? What book? Oh, book!\"

2. Okay, you have to do some hard research for this first, but it\'s worth it. Call your teacher on his/her cell phone each ten minutes, and don\'t say anything. You have to find out their cell number, but if you crack your brain hard enough, you\'ll find a way that suits you.

3. Go get them coffee. Then, on your way back when nobody sees you, put in laxative, or something else that\'ll stir things up, maybe Viagra, you should try that on a female teacher.