I know there was a Ranger fad here in IO already. But in Epsilon it was brought back and DS asked me to make a fic and I did two chapters already. Not really long ones, short ones even. But here you go IO! Enjoy!

Chapter 1
A Strange Light

Thump… thump… thump.

“THD!” Thump…thump… thump.

“THD!!”

“What?”

“Stop that! You’ll wake everyone!”

“Sorry!”

“Jeez…” And so Blazen, the yeller, lied back down on his bed in his apartment. He sighed, annoyed. Of course THD or The Hell Dragon had been working out again in his apartment and was making as much noise as always. Blazen needed the extra sleep, badly. He had a test tomorrow for his college bio class. Jaden had the same test, but, as always, worried more about his physical strength rather than his mental. It wasn’t all that great to start with anyway.

Blazen rolled to his side, his blood red hair covering the small pillow nearly. His closed his brown eyes and tried to find some sleep. His head then lifted and moved away from the pillow, and rested his head in his hands. He sometimes preferred this.

Coming up the hall he could hear some steps heading into the apartment next door, Zane lived there. He was a smart guy and never needed to study for a test and sometimes had some wacky experiments in there. To the other side of Blazen was Dranzer’s room. He was a quiet guy, but cool still. Across the hall was macho boy, THD. His room could be a gym for body builders it was so full of weights and such. Next to him was Morph, the comedic and target of comedy. Of course his wit over powered this at times, but still they had fun. On the other side of THD was Ribbita, a smart but sometimes childish guy. The ‘Six Seniors’ they were called at times. Well all six were friends.

Blazen then reopened his eyes as a large light shot from the sky and landed on a far off mountain side. Blazen quirked a brow, now curious. Then suddenly there was a large quake. He shot up and heard five doors open, the other five felt it too. They came into Blazen’s room.

“You feel that?” Zane asked quickly, him being ahead of the other four. Blazen nodded.
“It was over there, in the mountain side.” Blazen responded as he got out of bed and pointed to the far off mountain. “Let’s check it out.” He proposed. The five couldn’t agree more with him and within minutes were there.

“There!” Called Ribbita, him wearing his frog and toad related pjs still. Zane then Dranzer were there next.

“Whoa…” Dranzer said quietly as he came closer to the crater. There before them were eleven pods. Five were already open and whatever in them gone. The pods were small, so the being inside could have hidden easily.

Morph came forth soon enough and found the closest pod, it saying ‘Gray’ on it. He crouched down and pulled out a medallion.

“Hmm…” He said in thought then a gray light came over him. He then reappeared in a gray tight suit. On his head a helmet with a black visor to see out of. On his black belt was the medallion. Everyone’s jaw dropped simultaneously as Morph looked himself over. “Am…I a power ranger now or something?” He asked, still in shock.

“Gimmie one!” Ribbita then cried as he leapt at the Green one. No sooner did a green light come over him. He stood in a similar suit but green. His helmet resembled the head of a frog, the mouth being the face area. Also on his chest and shouter was golden armor, not very protective looking, but cool.

“Well, I’ll be.” Blazen said as he grabbed the next closest, red no doubt. A red light came over him. His suit again as similar, but with a helmet resembling a T-Rex. THD was next, grabbing the blue, his resembling a rhinoceros. Dranzer grabbed black, his helmet resembling a troll of sorts. Zane looked to the last one…to his misfortune…pink was all that remained.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Zane shouted in frustration.

“Sorry Zane, either that or not.” THD said laughing. Zane shot him a glare before picking up the medallion, with regret. His suit was of course pink…and apparently for a girl as where the belt would be…was a white skirt. He still had pants, but a skirt as well. The laughter was deafening from that point until sunrise.



Chapter 2
We are the Lamers!

The sun rose and the new powered up seniors were still playing around with their new abilities. Blazen ducked as Zane tried a kick to his head. Blazen then trust his fist forward to hit him in the stomach. Zane fell on his back. THD then gave a solid kick to Blazen’s head from behind. Dranzer followed that up with a clothesline tackle to the ground. Ribbita then pounced on Dranzer and shoved his face to the ground. Morph then simply kicked Ribbita’s side and planted a foot firmly on Dranzer’s back. It went on like this for a while Blazen and Morph proving to be the most skilled.

Blazen then dusted his red suit off and with a sigh he relaxed. As he did a red light came over him and he reverted to his original clothes. On his left wrist was a red watch with the time above it and numbers below.

“Hey! What happened to my suit?” Blazen exclaimed. Morph looked over and cocked his head to the side and approached him.

“Dun-“ At that moment Morph, to, lost his suit in a color that matched his suit. The same watch came on his hand, his being gray however. The same then happened to Zane, THD, Ribbita, and Dranzer. “Seems we’ve lost the power…but gained a watch, eh?”

“Apparently,” Zane muttered as he looked over the watch, “but no more skirt for me!” He then yelled in triumph.

“Lock, lock, lock. Don’t be so sure.” said a robotic voice from behind a rock.

“Who’s there?” Blazen demanded.

“Lock, lock, lock. Don’t be scared.” It said again as a little red robot came forth. It had what seemed red gloves and a red helmet and shades. It also had a yellow scarf and a blue symbol on its chest. A red line continually ran through the shades. “I am Breakman-5, and you need to come with me.” It said before turning around to a cave. Blazen turned to his friends.

“Shall we?” Blazen asked.

“We shall.” THD responded and stepped forward to head in. The group followed him in.

Inside they found a large room with several buttons and colors. Ribbita was tempted to press several no doubt, but kept himself calm. Dranzer came to a large glass thing that seemed to hold green water. He cocked his head to the side, looking at it. Then suddenly a large head appeared of a man. He had an orange beard and thick glasses. He had a welcoming smile, but that didn’t prevent Dranzer from jumping in surprise and running to hid behind a podium.

“Rangers!” The head almost roared, if it were mean looking than it would be a roar. “I am Dr. Cossack the creators of your powers.” Dr. Cossack explained.

“Then why weren’t you hear earlier when we just got them?” Ribbita asked.

“Well Breakman-5 was playing with his Lock button and didn’t realize he sent the pods three weeks early. I denied him of his Ico game for some time after that.” Dr. Cossack explained calmly.

“Lock, lock, lock! I said I was sorry, Doctor!” Breakman-5 whined.

“Yes, and you were forgiven my friend.” Dr. Cossack assured. “Now! Rangers! I have given you these powers to defend justice and the world! There are five other rangers out there! If you find them, recruit them to your cause!” Dr. Cossack instructed.

“How do we activate our powers?” Zane then asked, fearless of the good doctor.

“On your watches, you must put in the code ‘1, 3, 3, 7’, then yell the object that matches your medallion. Give it a try.” Dr. Cossack instructed once more. Thus the group raised their watches to their sides and imputed 1, 3, 3, and 7.

“T-rex!” Yelled Blazen.

“Squirrel!” Yelled Morph.

“Rhinoceros!” Yelled THD.

“Frog!” Yelled Ribbita.

“Troll!” Yelled Dranzer.

“Eh…what’s mine?” Zane then asked, interrupting the cool sequence.

“Lock, lock, lock. Why that be rabbit.” Breakman-5 responded.

“Rabbit…?” Zane repeated, then sighed. “Rabbit!” He then yelled.
In a blinding flash all six rangers morphed into their suits. They looked at their new suits once more and then back at Dr. Cossack.

“Now all you need is a name.” Dr. Cossack said for them to think. The members went on a frantic brainstorm to think on it, except for Zane who was still pouting about being Pink.

“This is so lame…” Zane then mumbled, but loud enough to be heard.

“That’s it!” Cheered the other members.

“We are the Lamer Rangers!” Blazen yelled in victory.

“Very well. You shall now be known as…The Lamer Rangers.” Dr. Cossack said in satisfaction.


Edited by Blazen on March 27, 2007 at 19:37:53.

Oh man, I said it on Epsilon, but i'll say it again, That is the. best. parody. ever.

Well doc, best to look it up on Wikipedia.

With how fast the Power Rangers go through series like Kleenex tissues, there really isn't anything lasting to know.

Nice story, Blazen!

You know Doc, that kinda hurt my feelings. Am I not good enough to be graced by your own willing presence? Hm?


New Chapter! Finally!

Chapter 3
The First Bout

“King me!” Ribbita yelled as he placed the king of his side of the Chess board on the other side of Morph’s. Morph stared blankly at the king, bewildered.

“Ribbita…this is chess.” Morphman tried to explain. “You are supposed to take out my king…Instead you wasted all your pieces, using them as decoys, just to get your king to my side of the playing field.” Morph continued to say. Ribbita shrugged.

“Just king me and we can start over.” Ribbita said plainly. Morph shook his head then placed his Queen on the left of the king.

“Checkmate.” Morph declared blandly. “I win.” He then added. Ribbita looked back and forth between the board and Morph.

“King me.” Ribbita repeated for the third time. Morph shook his head and stood up, leaving Ribbita to stare at the board.

Blazen and Zane were talking to the Doctor who was trying to sleep in his floating thing. However, he didn’t get a chance to tell the two Lamers that as Blazen was too busy asking random questions about the Lamers and Zane kept whining about his pink outfit. THD and Dranzer were busy annoying Breakman-5. Dranzer even went as far as spinning the robot’s head.

“Lock, lock, lock, lock!” Breakman-5 continued to yell as the world spun. Then an alarm went off and the Lamers froze.

“Lamers!” Called Cossack, “It seems your first foe is here. He is attacking the city as we speak. Now go and defeat him.”

“King me!” There was an awkward silence after the outburst by, you-know-who.

“Yeah…ok…just go and save the world.” Dr. Cossack said awkwardly. Then the Lamers were engulfed in a light representing their color, Zane could be heard screaming about the pink.

They landed in the middle of a park, people running away from the monster before them. It was a kid it seemed. He was laughing evilly as people simply ran from a child it seemed.

“This is who we need to fight?” Blazen whispered to Dranzer who was next to him.

“I guess…maybe a simple noogie’ll take ‘em out, eh?” Dranzer said back, jokingly.

“Heh, yeah, let’s just make this quick.” Blazen then stepped forward. “Hey kid!” He called to the child who laughed still. The child turned his hair blond and nearly shaved.

“Who’re you losers?” The child asked.

“Be nice to your elders, kid. Ju- whoa!” Blazen was interrupted when a beam of some green energy past him. It hit directly on THD.

“Oh my god! It stinks so bad! My eyes, MY EYES!” THD yelled bloody murder before falling to the ground, twitching.

“Jesus Christ!” Yelled the group when THD was taken down so quickly.

“I am ANDY13!” The child claimed proudly. “Now fear my breath!” He then fired another beam at Morph who dived to the side.

“Ok, its Lamer time guys!” Blazen yelled as they regrouped. They then held up their watches and put in the code, 1,3,3,7 then yelled their icons.
“T-Rex!”
“Squirrel!”
“Frog!”
“Troll!”
“Rabbit!”
The five remaining Lamers morphed into their suits, ready for action.

“Ok! Let’s do this!” Blazen yelled as he ran forth, the other four followed. ANDY13 continued his barrage of stench as the Lamers dodged as best as they could. Then suddenly Morph reached behind him and out came some acorns. He then threw them at ANDY13, five acorns hit his head.

“Ow….”ANDY13 said simply, chuckling. “Was th-“ BOOM! The acorns that were at his feet then gave off one big explosion around ANDY13. Blazen blinked then reached behind him and out of seemingly now where drew a large alligator clamp in the shape of a T-Rex mouth. It was as large as him and just as cool. ANDY13 stood dazed as Blazen then ran at him. Blazen opened the jaws and snatched the child and began to swing him around, roaring pathetically. ANDY13 yelled as he was jerked about in the air. Ribbita then found he had a pair of super bouncing shoes. He jumped and landed on the child’s head and fell on him, making his head hit the ground hard.

Seeing this, Zane and Dranzer looked around for their own weapons. Dranzer found a large club and Zane….found a purse. He opened it to find bricks and pepper spray in it. He sighed and closed his purse. Dranzer laughed then rushed at the child who was on the ground. He then bludgeoned his head with the club, making the child yell in pain. He then fired a beam of stench in a circle, hitting the four Lamers around him, knocking them back. All four wailed in pain of the stench.

Zane ran up to the child and pulled out the spray and shot it at him. He laughed nervously when he noticed ANDY13 had his eyes closed. ANDY13 then opened his mouth to allow a beam of stench to hit Zane and send him into a tree.

“He’s…too powerful…” Blazen said as he picked up his clamps, and used them to keep himself up.

“We must keep trying.” Morph urged as he threw more acorns that exploded around ANDY, who was again dazed. “NOW” Morph yelled as he threw more. Blazen, Zane, Dranzer, and Ribbita ran at him. Ribbita jumped up and landed on his head and that head was knocked into Dranzer’s club. Then Blazen used his clamps to hold him as Zane began to throw bricks at ANDY13.

ANDY13 then opened his mouth and shot another large beam of stench at the Lamers, them being too stupid to close his mouth. They flew into a ground and hit Morph as well. They groaned and watched as ANDY13 readied a large beam.

“This is it!” Blazen yelled in fear.

“We’re doomed!” Ribbita then yelled as well. The beam fired then….

“Rhinoceros!” They heard someone yelled then jump in front of the beam. There THD was in his blue suit and shield in front of him. On it was the face of a Rhinoceros, horn and all. The shield blocked the beam of stench, THD grunted then charged forward. ANDY13 did his best to keep him back. THD war cried as he slammed into ANDY13 who groaned then landed. He was then turned into dust and disintegrated. THD stood tall, proud of his achievement.

“THD! You saved us!” Zane yelled and shot up. The other Lamers soon stood up, shaking off the battle. They then lost their suits and watched as a screen came from their watches. A girl in white came up, who looked desperate.

“Help me Obi-Wan you’re my only hope.” She said.

“Eh…He’s not here.” Blazen said plainly.

“Oh, sorry, wrong frequency.” She disappeared and was replaced with Cossack’s head.

“Good work Lamers. Be proud as you saved the day from evil and made Earth peaceful for one day more. Now you may rest as more will come, I assure you.” Cossack warned.

“Every Saturday?” Zane guessed.

“What do you think this is? A Saturday morning cartoon? It’ll be everyday!” Dr. Cossack said back before disappearing.

“Great…” Blazen said to himself.

Edited by Blazen on April 8, 2007 at 22:19:07.

You all are going to fight Nick, right? Please tell me you'll fight Nick.

Here I'll give you a list Dranzer gave me of the villians. I'm sure many of them you know all too well.

abcdefg
abcdefghijklmnop
ALPHA the beast
ANDY13
apollo
aquateam4
Aram
ArmoredX
asdf123
assclown
Aura
azreal megajr.
azreal megajr.EXE23
BassZero.exe
Beer Blaster
Black Mage
blackzero99
blackzeroclone
blah
BlueMan.exe
Booberella
Brian
Bucsfan4life12
Chang Blaze
Chaud Blaze
colorman
CouldntYouTellIWasDone?
CrackerBarrel
crackman
darkness2003
darkzero
ddd
donkeyfuck
Dr Cossack
Dr,Cosack
Dr. chaos
DUKE THE CHILLIPEPPER
Elijah Wood
Found a Key
fred copperstein
ghost mega dark zero
god slayer
God/
Gods.Darkend.Warrior
GodX
Hardman
HEAVENLYS_ENDINGS
helldragon sucksballs
I Do Not Spam
iluvudrcossack
Interordi Sucks
f****r
Fuckface
FuckingBitch
jmf
jmf
lilgundamfreak
lord of chaos
megafreeze22
niko god of games
Protoman FZ
meathead and Fartboom
Starfire-Raven
thekosmicfool
I agree
JohnnyG
JonG8299
chester the penguin
Evil-Yugi
FA|Guitarist
FuckingBitch
G-Prime
Gabriel
hello
heyheyhey
heysay
horse_molestor
hub-hikari-is-a-prick
hubactaxle
i love to teh spamminator
Iriishkiller13
Irishkiller987
JohnnyG
King Ryan The Lion
kirbythesuperphantom
Nick
Nick Scratch
Megamantn
And last but definetly not least: Kiryu

As you can see, I have almost a season's worth of villians. Plus any plot things I may do, such as the appearence of new Rangers. I don't plan to have big monsters in them...but we'll see what the people want.

Their's a few others, but my browser only let's me look at like the first page of the banned list. We were tempted to Use Hardman and Nick as Putties, but Nick need to be a villain. The footsoldiers will be 777 clones. And also Hollow, You get to be Rita!

Lol, didn't Rita get headaches alot or something? I get that too.

Also for information, Gabriel and Found a Key were both Kei, so you might want to just list all three as Kei. Who yeah, really deserves a kicking.

And Kiryu. And Spider.

Hmmmm the memberlist is just like the oekakis list..which also messes up after so many pages.

I think we decided to make Necro Rito, and Windy Zedd if memory serves.

You're confusing the writer, witch is it?

Kei probably needs to be some enemy that can duplicate itself, and whose "true" form has three heads with differing personalities, representing Kei, Yumi K. and Himeko (who were all Kei).

No nonono Morph.

Keiji was Yumi and Himeko. He was having fun roleplaying as girls who were infatuated with him.

Kei was Found a Key and Gabriel because he's a pompous jackass who uses big paragraphs.

HA I was right when I said Kei and Keiji were different!

blazen you're killin me. Ribitta has to have split personalities, one an immature person. One.... not as much.

You have to get idiots who dont know they're doin anything wrong like thecosmicfool and Hardman who just spammed until they killed themselves.

And I personally think Hollow should be Rita, Sage lord zed, and windrider ivan ooze

Ah-hm. Then I have been wrongly informed. In some old thread I read about and someone said it was Kei without the -ji.

Ah well.

Oh, and Hardman wasn't really an idiot who SPAMmed. He was a retard who didn't really know shit and brought his oh-so awesome siblings onto the board.

But didn't Rita and Zed fall in love?

Can we skip that detail, because Rita actually just used a love potion on Zedd...

Yeah but then he acctually falls in love with her. But ok, skipped.

Sorry for the Double Post.

Chapter 4
Two for Flinching

“Necro are the N00B ninjas done yet?!” roared a voice from a large yellow ship in the shape of a smiley face with devil horns and red eyes. The voice belonged to the doer of evil and killer of those to undo the evil that is done by non other than Windrider. He stood tall with a silver shining helmet and skeletal like armor. On his helmet was a small W and in his right hand a scepter with a larger W on the top.

Growling under his breath came out a huge freakish creature wearing a strange mask, hiding the fact if it were a boy or a girl however the voice that came from this creature sounded a bit masculine for a girl. There stood tall was HollowTorment, Wind’s right hand man and loyal servant, even if he were a bit fussy and smart assy.

“He will not be finished today he has sa-“ Began Hollow when then a slender looking man with a crown and black cape came out. He also held a scepter, but one much shorter and it having a glowing ball on the top.

“Done.” Necro, the man who came out, said proudly. “I will send them off now.”

“Excellent!” Cried Wind proudly, “See to it that it happens.” Wind commanded sternly. Then fifteen grayish beams of light fell from the ship in space to the very city the Lamers were in, how fortunate.

Meanwhile in the city, this, by the way, was named Interordi, the Lamers heard the call from Dr. Cossack about the threat that hit earth merely a moment before.

“Ok, Lamers!” Yelled Blazen, “its morphin time!” Blazen then finished. The Lamers then put into their watches 1,3,3,7 and they morphed after yelling their respected icon. However everyone was staring at Zane oddly after he morphed.

“. . .What?” Zane asked awkwardly.

“Something’s up with your suit.” Morph said slowly.

“What? Is the skirt gone?! I hope so, because I’ve been messing around with the watch to see if I could make it better for myself.” Zane then explained excitedly before looking down and hearing everyone snicker. “I…I…” Zane stuttered to see his suit now made it look he, now, had breasts…oh joy. “I have breasts…” He then mumbled, setting everyone off into a fit of laughter once more.

“O-ok…guys.” THD said after recollecting himself, “to the threat.” He said then running forward to the general area of the said threat, or unsaid. Everyone followed promptly.

When they got there a gray body flew at them and landed before twitching and dying. Two more flew at their feet, again, twitching and dying. The Lamers looked forward to see two more people with similar suits as them. One was a bright white with golden armor on the shoulders and the other was mostly black with golden lines on the helmet in the shape of a dragon and golden armor on the shoulders, arms, and legs. They both took out the gray simple looking ninjas who merely gave out letters such as ‘lol’, ‘brb’, ‘omg’ and ‘stfu’. However when slain the ninjas would yell ‘hacks’ loudly before disappearing in a gray light.

The Lamers watched as the two new rangers, simply put, pwned the ninjas. Soon enough the ninjas were all gone with the last, fearing for his life, yelled ‘g2g’ and left in a grey light.

“You suck at a fighting,” said a voice in the direction of the white ranger.

“No…you just need to learn when to shut up so I can actually focus.”

“Dude chill…but still you suck. I would have had them all dead in a se-“ The first voice was cut off when the white ranger put his mouth over the head on the hilt of his sword.

“Saba…shut up.” The ranger repeated. The Gold one was watching then shook his head. He then turned to see the six Lamers staring at them.

“Fallen.” The Gold one said tapping the white’s shoulder. The White one looked over.

“Hey, they got suits like us.” The white one, known as Fallen, whispered to the Golden.

“No shit, but who are they?” The Golden, obviously more serious one, asked.

“Ask, RD.” Fallen commanded.

“Fine.” RD said a bit reluctantly. “Hey, who are you guys…and one girl.” He asked, thinking Zane was a girl.

“I’m not a girl!” Yelled Zane quickly.

“Eh…” Blazen stepped forward as if to apologize for Zane’s shout. “We’re the Lamer Rangers. Dr. Cossack said there more, so you guys must be two of them.”

“Dr. Cossack?” Fallen questioned, putting his smart ass sword in its sheath, a piece of cloth in its mouth.

“The guy who sent the watches here that make you into the rangers you are.” Dranzer then added. RD nodded.

“Ok…take us to him.” RD said boldly. Blazen nodded.

“Ok.” Then instantly all eight were taken to Dr. Cossack’s lab. RD and Fallen looked around their new surrounding as Morph walked to the giant jar where Dr. Cossack’s head would be.

“Hey Doc, take a look at this!” He yelled and Cossack’s head came up just as fast.

“OH MY GOD! A FLOATING HEAD!” Yelled Ribbita randomly. Again…he created an awkward silence. Then one could vaguely hear Saba yell ‘Holy nuts!’ which was muffled through the cloth.

“Yeah…Ribbita…go color or something.” Dr. Cossack said and a table came up in a corner with crayons on it.

“Whee!” Ribbita yelled running to color.

“Anyway,” Cossack began as he examined the two new rangers, “Lamers, you’ve found the Golden and White rangers. Well done, two new comrades for our cause.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is your cause?” RD asked, taking no chances.

“To defeat evil that appears in the very town where you live, of course.” Cossack explained.

“Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon to me.” RD replied.

“Are you all going to say that?! It’s everyday!” Cossack roared.

“Er…right…” RD mumbled. Then suddenly Ribbita came out of no where, jumping wildly with his bouncing shoes.

“Ribbita! I gave you those crayons so you could calm down, what happened?” Cossack asked as he continued to jump around wildly knocking people over.

“I got high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He replied landing on RD’s head knocking him down.

“What?” Cossack asked, then the box came up in front of him. He read it aloud: “Crayons, now with heroin. OH WHAT THE f**k?!” Cossack roared again. “Catch him!” He commanded and RD stood up.

RD shook his head before pulling out a sword. He turned it to its side and watched Ribbita. He then swung it, seemingly randomly, but ended up hitting Ribbita in the back of the head as he appeared from nearly out of no where. Ribbita hit the ground with a thud and a groan, blacking out.

“There…now explain to me what I’m doing here…” RD said sternly to Cossack.

Yeah...kinda bad I think cause I just rushed it. But the end kinda brought it back.

Oh, wow, I can honestly say that this is one of the best Power Rangers parodies ever conceived. I couldn't help but smile as I saw other board members introduced as principle characters.

Blazen, please continue this series! It would be a travesty not to!