Okay I just... have something I need to get off my chest.
I just saw the... stupidest... person-of-the-week, and... let's just say he or she is a little cat-crazy.
I was reading this article on just about my favorite website ever, Cracked.com, and for reasons I can't explain I actually dared to glimpse the comments section.
If you choose to do so, first of all, there are medals for people with your kind of bravery (and lectures for your kind of insane curiosity). Second of all, you'll notice a shockingly absurd number of comments by a person calling themselves "BigMeanCat".
If you don't want to browse the comments (nobody would blame you), I can crop a few select lines that particularly roused my ire tonight.
Let your cats outside. They are not plush toys or furniture. They are animals, and it is cruel to keep them locked up in a confined space. You wouldn't want someone to do it to you. Don't do it to them.
Guess what? Humans do waaay more to screw up the ecosystem than cats, so I guess we should be locking all humans indoors for life, huh?
Kiss off. I'm not sentencing my cat to a life sentence just so he can live imprisoned for a few more years. If a longer lifespan is more important to you than a life that you can actually enjoy, then put your money where your mouth is lock yourself inside for life.
Pretty... alarming, right? No?
There may be one or two of you out there reading this who say "... so what? That's the kind of thing I'd say. I agree. 100%.".
To you, I have something to say. And that something is this.
CATS. ARE DUMB. ANIMALS.
Now, while you let that sink in, let me sprinkle some sugar on it by informing you that I am a "cat person". I have 3 precious little ones of my own and they are the sunshine in my little gray world.
And they are dumb, dumb animals.
You see, the thing that some of you need to understand is that you're looking at things ALL WRONG. You're putting yourself in your cat's shoes without realizing that you're still thinking like a human.
Yes, a human would find it pretty depressingly maddening to be locked up in the house all of their life. But a cat does not. A cat could not give a sh**. Do cats LIKE the outdoors? Yes. It can be argued that they do and I would be on the side of the argument that says they do. Would their little hearts and spirits be broken from a lifetime under the yoke of the oppressive man-regime that keeps them secure in their little biodome experiments? The better question is "Would a cat give a sh**". And the answer to that in any circumstance is "No. A cat could not give a sh**".
Look, you can instantly distract a cat by jingling some keys around or flicking around a laser pointer. They do not HAVE the kind of capability for deep, emotional inner thought that allows a sentient being to "yearn" for un-necessary things. You are doing nothing. NOTHING but pissing off proper cat-owners by telling them they are horrible people for "locking up their cats" and "making them sad". Cats do not even get sad. They only have two emotions. Content, and Anger.
As long as you give a cat food, toys, and plenty of snuggles there is no fathomable reason for depression to even be a factor. Cats may like the outdoors but they like being around their loving owners a great deal more. I think they'll live.
So do the environment a favor (apparently), and keep your cats indoors.
And that's my rant for the night...
Back from another thousand-year hibernation.